Ecain here. So, it's 3:00 in the afternoon and I'm still in a bathrobe and slippers. This image defines what I've done all break. Oh, but there have been some dramatic in-between episodes this holiday season at the Cain household. Sleeping and eating and doing nothing will not be included in this segment, seeings as how that has been 98% of what I have been doing. Alas, allow me to share a few highlights.
1. By awesome Bro turned 18 shortly after I arrived home from a week of an intense relationship with the library(need romance? just try it). I brought it to my Dad's attention that mr. 18 could now legally buy cigs, porn, and a lottery ticket, all of which i have been steadily buying since I was that age. So, he thought it would be a grand idea if he had a nice birthday cigar. My mother's reaction-AL, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE HIM A SHOT OF THAT VODKA STUFF TOO THEN. YOU'RE ENCOURAGING INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR. I DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL. AND BRIGGS-IF YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT A SOCIAL LIFE. And so, Briggs and I sat on the screen porch that wintery birthday night, and smoked a holiday cigar, inhaling that manly goodness. Tis the season.
2. Family Shopping Trip-Yes, we have an ANNUAL shopping trip, where all six of us are packed into one car and have to go on a quest to find sibling presents, and listen to my father sing. Here is what we did:
-complained about not wanting to go to TJMax, Home Depot, or one of those weird camping stores
-made Aubrey (my sister) cry in Dillard's and start a scene
-run OUT of Dillards and into Belk
-terrorize the perfume lady, asking for samples of everything under the sun
-said "no thanks, I don't need any make-up I was JUST LOOKING" about 1928393 times.
-I watched my 5 family members run around in slow motion, and saw how other customers were probably looking at us, running around, calling eachother repeatedly on cell phones, and yelling CAN WE JUST GO NOW.
-made the announcement that no, we will not do this again...especially on December 23rd.
-after, went to eat at Wild Wings, where Aubrey and Ryan (2 of the siblings) fell asleep at the booth. The waiter asked, "tough day?" and I simply looked at him, smiled, and said, "you have no idea". tis the season.
3. Christmas Eve Day-My mother leaves the house at 11am on the dot to go grocery shopping. She returned at 6:30pm. She was in Kroger for 7.5 hours. She did not make any pit stops. This is not an exaggeration. And furthermore, it's not like she even bought the whole store. 7.5 hours. Yes, that is real life.
4. Christmas Day-My most memorable present had to be from my lovely 16 year old sister. Out of the kindess of her heart she gave me a Runner's World AND Women's Fitness magazine. Yes, I can take a hint. Thank you.
5. My New Years Resolution-read those magazines.
Happy Holidays everyone.
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